Oct 302010

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #22? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

Important e[lust] update: e[lust] will be going on hiatus for the holidays. The editions for November and December would both occur around the holidays and I know I’ll be short on both submissions and judges as well as personal time. e[lust] #22 will return in January, with ample advance warning, so please make sure you’re subscribed for updates!

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

D/s Without the D/s?This is one of those situations in a real time D/s relationship where much of the “fun” aspects of the D/s needs to be stuffed in the closet for a bit. And for us, it’s not a great time to be either a masochist or a sadist. We can deal with that.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Yes, Jelly Sex Toys Can be DangerousEven if a jelly rubber toy says “phthalate-free”, it still can contain toxic chemicals that can cause skin reactions in some people. These toys are still non-porous and can harbor dirt and bacteria because they cannot be sanitized.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Unfortunately, this edition has no Top Three picks as I didn’t have enough volunteer judges. If you’d like to volunteer to help, visit this page to find out more info and ensure that the Top Three picks continue.

See also: Pleasurists #101 and #100 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

All Painted Up…

A Modest Proposal: Should Ginger & Cooper Fuck?

Happy Sexual Freedom Day

How Do You Explain

Life in spanking after 30: part 2

Erotic Writing


Fantasy: Movie Night

Feeling Helpless

Gabrielle, Guest Star

Happy Anniversary…

History Lesson

I Still Don’t Know How You Taste

Monday Morning 2am

Metallic Seduction


New Erotic Story For The Holidays – Tinsel Temptation

Putting the car into park

The Ordeal (Part Four)

The Sweetest Violation

The Young Mom

The Moment

The Soccer Mom

Timeless in a Window’s Light

Kink & Fetish

A space to hate and rage and be angry (photo story)

Beyond the Bedroom

Does liking Helmut Newton equal a fetish?

Happy Halloween: Light Me Up

I am all pins and needles

Kink and Fibromyalgia

Ownership and Monogamy

Punishing the servants


Switching It Up

The Cage

The Sacred Swinger Holiday: Halloween!

the most amazing night with HIM

The Pedicure

The Right Question

Wax on, wax off!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

All Roads Lead to Acceptance… I hope!

Crisis Averted

Dear boyfriend, I love you. And your cock.

Having Great Goddamned Expectations

If You Google it, I will Answer #9

I Don’t Know If I’ve Ever Been Really Loved By a Hand That’s Touched Me

How to Massage Man’s G-spot

My Coming Out Story

National Coming Out Day

Recovering From Anorexia

Role Reversal

Sadie’s Condom PSA

Jun 052010

This is win. It is so much win.

That said, I really prefer the term marriage equality over same sex marriage or gay marriage. Why? Because not everyone who wants the ability to marry identifies as gay (lesbian, queer, bi, or a couple with a trans person who now identifies as straight), and unless you’re checking chromosomes, you don’t really know if people are the same sex.

All of this said, I love love love this picture, and think it makes a brilliant point, both for marriage equality, and hopefully eventual gender/sex equality, that our country has still yet to practice.

Plus, I love me some animal macros in the morning.


Jun 032010

Today, I’m flying to Pittsburgh, PA, for the annual conference of AASECT; the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

I’m a bit nervous. I’ve never been before. Why? Because I often feel quite a bit of a black sheep in the field.  Because I teach adults about how to add a variety of pleasure to their sex lives, from communication to fisting, safer sex to fire play. Because I don’t work in a “traditional” area of the field. Because I’m often told I’m too “risque” or “on the edge” by many of my cohorts. Because I was alienated during my time at Widener for working in both the feminist porn and sex toy fields.

So we’ll see. I want to learn and grown and network, and meet other interesting educators.  I want to be a small part of this community. But on the other hand, I’m also not looking to be judged. I LOVE the type of education I do, and each time I teach, I feel on top of the world.  I love it when someone emails me a question they haven’t been able to have answered, or approaches me after a class, telling me they’ve never had an orgasm, and want a toy suggestion.

I do so much more than sell toys. I educate the community. I speak at colleges and universities, educating students and educators alike. I do outreach online.  I love my “job” and what I do.  And I hope to bring some of that passion to the academic world.

Wish me luck!


May 042010

With all of the discussion about Constance and the hate put upon her as she tried to bring her date, a woman, to prom in a tuxedo, and with all the talk about that poor high school senior who was left out of their senior year book because they refused to wear a dress for pictures (and instead wore a tux), we forget about the triumphs.

Like this boy in New Jersey, who identifies as a cross-dresser and wanted to wear a dress to his prom. He was originally told no by school officials, but students, his classmates and peers, started a petition to allow him to come dressed as he wanted to. In the end, the school changed their mind, and he went dressed in the dress he’d wanted.

Yes, this was in New Jersey, a state often seen as more liberal than the Southern states where the other instances occurred. But note, this is also a state that voted against marriage equality. So it’s not San Francisco.  Ergo, it doesn’t matter where it happens, we should still celebrate when diversity is welcomed, and when open minded-ness triumphs.

Congrats Derek – I hope you had a fabulous prom!


Apr 282010

Dear Mayor,

I am fairly new to Arizona, having moved here this past fall with my partner from Colorado.

The day SB1070 passed and was signed was the day we thought we’d made a mistake about moving here. It is shameful to us to be living in a state that so blatantly perpetuates racism and racial profiling. Immigration may in fact be an issue here, but as I’m sure you know, this bill does nothing but legalize hatred, and give cart blanche to individual officers to discriminate as they will. I’m afraid that it will spread not only racism, but also include homophobia and transphobia, as those following this law make those who do not fit into society’s gender standards show their documentation, and begin to pull over cars with HRC stickers and rainbows. I am not prepared to carry around my birth certificate and/or passport with me at all times; no one should have to do this.

I have hope in you, sir, that you will do the right thing and begin the steps to create a discrimination and inequality suit that will get this law declared unconstitutional. I have hope that you will make us change our mind about this state, show us that there are people will to stand up for right, for equality, for human rights.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me about this issue, and I look forward to seeing you stand up for justice for all,


Note:  Discussion that is respectful is appreciate.  Any and all rude and hateful comments will be deleted.

Apr 122010

This is cross posted from my other blog, but I feel that it is incredibly important for people every where to read things like this, and to stand up against hate, against stigmatism, against the ridiculous accusations and name call that is loaded onto us by people who claim to be “academics.” It is high time that we stand up against this, that we stand together as a sex positive, inclusive, caring community, and show them that their taunts, their accusations, their hate mongering and their anger have no place here.

One of our “own,” a fierce warrior of sex positivity and transparency, has been attacked by Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks. Maymay, a sex blogger/educator/geek/rockstar/podcaster/etc has come under fire from two people who have also attached Kink for All Providence, the lovely Oh Megan, and many more. I will not link to their original bulletin (which they sent forth to hundreds if not thousands of people), but you can read what Maymay said about the attack here, and about furthering dialogue instead of just throwing stones and insults at each other.

We must stand up for ourselves, and for each other every single day. I lovingly and jokingly (sometimes) refer to myself as a professional pervert, but while I have reclaimed that word, many of us (people who work towards sex positivity; bloggers, educators, authors, etc) have it hurled at us in a negative context on a very regular basis. Whether we teach online, at Planned Parenthood, in a public school, a private school, workshops, through hosing unconferences, etc, we have to fight for the right to be seen as true educators, people teaching a needed or even just “legit” subject.

So when one of us is attacked, whether it is online or in real life, whether we’re being called a pervert or a pedophile or a whore or the anti-christ, we are all being attacked. We are being told that sexuality education is harmful, that we are wrong to want people to be educated and open and have happy sex lives (whether vanilla or kinky, monogamous or not). We are ALL being attacked.

Ergo, I stand up for sexuality education, I stand up for sex positivity, I stand up for the free discussion of sexuality amoungst all people. I am not a pedophile or the anti-christ. I am just someone that believes in equal rights and understanding and education regarding healthy sexuality for ALL people. I stand against the creepy pervert stigma. I stand here, wearing my leopard print and polka dots, taking sexuality OUT of the dark, OUT for the closet, putting it forth for people to see, discuss, talk about, question, understand and more.

I stand in solidarity with Maymay, and with all the other sex positive people who have been stigmatize, and persecuted, and hated on just for wanted to bring open-ness and discussion regarding healthy sexuality to all people.

Stand up against stigma. Speak out. The more we bring forth sexuality in a positive light, and stand together in solidarity, the less slander, libel, hated, threats, name calling and more can affect us.

My name is Shanna Katz. I am a proptent of sex positivity and accessible sexuality education for all. Do not think to shame me. I support others like me, and those I disagree with as well. I support the freedom of speech and the freedom of sex educaton. I stand up for sexuality.

Also, Viviane wrote an excellent post on this as well over at the Sex Carnival. Aida Manduley, the student at Brown who was instrumental in organizing Kink for All Providence also wrote a piece here about the event and speaking up for herself and sexuality.

Mar 112010

Was linked to this picture below via a friend who found it on this here blog.

Half of me finds it really funny. Why? Because I’d heard all of these, and had all of them done to me/used on me.  Far more often than I’d like to admit.  And I think that in many cases, humor catches people, starts conversation, etc.

The other half of me wants to find a better name for it. Because not all straight men (not even all stupid straight men) say these things…and honestly, dykes say really bigoted things too, like knocking down “breeders” and kink people often tell “vanilla” people that they just haven’t found their kink yet.