Nov 122010

As many of you know, I am very open to sexuality. It’s my entire world view to bring more sex positivty to every community I am in, and to help open people’s eyes to the huge spectrum of sexuality and learn to welcome and acknowledge differences. Your kink is not my kink, and all of that.

However, the one exception to all of the above is the lack of consent. All parties must, absolutely MUST be consenting to whatever activities go on. This means that while I support people who do consentual, negotiated rape play, or those who put dominance in their life style, I do not personally support sexual assault, rape, or sexual violence. Why? There is a lack of consent, and to me, that is the absolutely most important thing. Same goes for play with animals; if you want to dress up as your pony self and have your trainer feed your carrots, I am all for exploring that. However, the moment that an actual horse is involved? Consent is not long in the picture, as I believe that animals CAN NOT consent. My judgement is not on the person, but I absolutely cannot support or even condone any act, sexual or otherwise, that has a lack of consent.

This all said, I want to make a statement about an e-book that was recently put on Amazon, and as of today, has been taken down. It is entitled The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover’s Code of Conduct, and the supposed goal was to (according to the author):

“This is my attempt to make pedophile situations safer for those juveniles that find themselves involved in them, by establishing certain rules for these adults to follow,” the author wrote in the product description. “I hope to achieve this by appealing to the better nature of pedosexuals, with hope that their doing so will result in less hatred and perhaps liter [sic] sentences should they ever be caught,” Greaves said in the product description.

I support free speech as a citzen of the US. I know how important it is, and overall, oppose censorship. Heck, my name is on the Google instant blacklist. People in the field of sexuality find themselves censored all the time (and by Amazon no less).

However, in my heart, I cannot support a book that condones non-consensual behavior…and I believe that children are not in fact able to consent. At the age of 8 or 9, kids are not mentally developed enough make an educated decision about sexual activity, and certainly not if they are younger. Because consent is so important to me, I must say that I understand the outcry regarding this book, and while my head has issues with the censorship of any material (I’m sure though that he could self publish and distribute if he really wanted to, so he’s not completely being shut down), my heart is completely not ok with the fact that someone is publishing a guide on how to have non-consensual sex. It feels to me as if I would should someone publish a “Rape: Sexual assault — how to do it and love it” type of book. As a sex educator who constantly promotes sex positivity and consensual sexual behavior, I feel it is my duty to inform people that despite my concerns about free speech, I think this book is dangerous and could pose huge hard to children should it normalize/ok a non-consensual behavior.

Everyone has their own opinion, and you are welcome to share yours in the comments. However, rude comments,  and flammers (trolls too) will be deleted.