May 272011

This month’s post for my monthly Unapologetic column on the Fearless Press deals with the concepts regarding the term Partner — the good, the bad, and the frustrating.

Sometimes, the English language just fails me. Aside from the ridiculous issue of pronouns (I mean, really, do we need to have masculine and feminine pronouns when we conjugate everything in neutrality anyways?), it’s so interesting trying to navigate in field of terminology to refer to people’s partners.

The other day, someone referred to my partner as my “wife.” Well, since both of us reject the concept of traditional marriage (versus our upcoming “Queer Celebration of Love”), it didn’t really fit, but even more so, it doesn’t fit because my partner doesn’t usually identify with either female or male identifies. My partner identifies as genderqueer, residing outside of that binary.

So the term girlfriend doesn’t really fit either. Moreover, as one of my straight friends revealed to me, calling her partner “boyfriend” after ten years of being together feels silly to her, and like she’s back in high school.

To read the rest, click here for Howdy There Partner.

Apr 172011

For those of you new or less involved in finding me all over the interwebs, I write two monthly columns for the Fearless Press; Unapologetic, which is about me getting all ranting regarding my multiple communities, and Out of the Box, which is an interview based column looking at people’s identities. This week’s Unapologetic post is called When Academia Isn’t The Answer.

…Looking at things from an academic perspective can sometimes be good. It can help to legitimize or normalize behavior (like the recent study that showed 30% of heterosexual American couples participate in anal sex), it can bring important discussion to the forefront. However, it can also take validation away from individuals and/or groups, it can stigmatize and sometimes criminalize behaviors, it can harm certain people, and it can serve to disempower and oppress communities.

Telling someone that their identity isn’t real or doesn’t exist because it doesn’t exist in the textbook you’re currently reading, or you haven’t heard it discussed yet is showing both ignorance and privilege. Many things we take for granted today were scientifically said to be impossible or non-existent at one time. As societies change, people change, and as people change, societies change…

To read the rest of this Fearless Press Article and to check out my monthly column “Unapologetic,” check out the awesome Fearless Press site!