Aug 202012
 

Want to know how much lube to use? How to tell if someone is gay? How to bring up conversation about having a threesome? Which strap on is right for you? How to have anal sex without pain? What is the best way to pick someone up for casual sex? How to spice up your sex life after decades of love?

I have been writing a sexuality & relationship Q and A column for Out Front Colorado (as well as other posts on sexuality in the community – click here to read all of my writing) and am always looking for anonymous questions, from folks all across the country, to answer as part of this column that is published every other week.

Have a question you’d like answered? Shoot me an email at ShannaKatz at gmail.com and I’ll make sure to answer it AND email you the link when I do. I will not name you or your actual location, and no question is too mild or wild. You can also comment with questions you’d like answered, tweet them to me @shanna_katz, or send them via carrier snail.

Looking forward to helping assuage your curiosity!

-Shanna

May 112011
 

Note: Permission is ALWAYS obtained before posting people’s questions on this site. Have a question you’d like to ask anonymously? You can use my contact form, or email ShannaKatz at Gmail.com!

Dear Shanna-

I have PCOS so I have a weird VERY infrequent period situation. In 2010 I had a total of five periods, and two were induced with Provera.  I haven’t had a period yet in all of 2011, and I went to the gyno for my yearly last month. My pap was normal but they told me I had a yeast infection. Took care of that with no problem – didn’t even know I had it!


My husband and I were going at it the other night and after a [vaginal]  fisting session – he noticed a brown-ish fluid. We cleaned up and I woke up the next morning with my period – on FULL FORCE! This has happened before (last December) where no period, then BAM! It is hard to look up with google because everything says that you are or may be prego and so on.
We are just wondering if it normal for rough sex/fisting and or fingering to bring on periods? I mean- is it safe to do this more often so I do get periods since my body doesn’t do it on its own? Its really confusing to me! At our last visit last month my gyno wants me to take Provera about every 3 months to make sure I am shedding my liner. Grrrrr.

-Pissed at PCOS

Dear P@P-

Firstly, mazel tov on remembering to go in for your yearly gyno visit! What seems to be happening is that intense uterine spasming is encouraging the start of the shedding of your uterine lining, starting your period. For some people, fisting, rough sex, g-spot specific fingering, and other sexual activities can cause a different type of orgasm, that can be more intense as far as the involvement of your uterus (versus, for example, a more clitoral centric orgasm, which feels just as good, but uses other body parts).

I’ve known many other folks who have PCOS, and sometimes, certain types of sex can trigger the onset of a period (as can other things, like eating less dairy/fatty foods, etc). Sounds like fisting might be one of those triggers for you. In my completely NOT medical opinion, I’d say it’s safe to play with rougher sex and/or fisting as much as you’d like — just know that it might not always trigger your period. It might all the time, some times, or this may be a one off. But as long as you’re enjoying it, is sounds like it’s a fun experience with a bonus for you! If you start feeling pain regarding any of this sexual play, or have excessive bleeding beyond your period, it’s time to go see the doctor, but in the mean time, have fun!

Hope this helps!

-Shanna

Nov 162010
 

Question:

Is it normal that I don’t have multiple orgasms? I’ve read about a million times that I should be able to have all these orgasms. But the truth is, if I have one, the likelihood that I’ll have another one in the next 24 hour period is pretty much zero, and chances are, I probably won’t have another one for several days, no matter what I do. It doesn’t matter if it’s sex, masturbation or whatever. Its like I have one, and then I’m done for at least a day, maybe several. Is this normal?

Answer:

The likelihood that there is anything physically wrong is very, very slim. Not everyone can have multiple orgasms. Period. Just like not everyone can ejaculate. Lots of people can, and many of those people haven’t figured out the mutliple orgasm thing, or ejaculation thing yet, but it’s also important to note that NOT EVERYONE can do these things. By telling people that everyone can, we set people up to be disappointed in themselves, and even be concerned. Vulvas and vaginas are so unique and different, and like different things, so they enjoy pleasure in different ways. Not having multiple orgasms doesn’t mean that ANYTHING is wrong with you.

It’s possible that you might be able to have different types of orgasms through different stimulation (clitoral vs vaginal vs anal vs g-spot vs breasts, etc), but even if not, as long as you are enjoy the orgasm that you ARE having, then you’re golden. Sex is about pleasure and enjoyment, and if you’re having fun and feeling pleasure, then that is what is right for you.

Of course, stronger kegel/PC muscles can increase orgasm intensity, and the possibility of multiple orgasms, but never a guarantee — if you’re interested in experimenting, grab a set of kegel balls to work out your pelvic floor muscles. Sometimes bringing in a switch hitter like your favorite vibe can help help. However, it is 100% normal NOT to have multiple orgasms, and as long as you’re enjoying your sex life in general, you’re good to go.

-Shanna

Have a question you want answered (anonymously)? Contact me and I’ll post the answer!