Dec 262012
 

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a newish company, Luv My Box, if I’d be interested in reviewing their product. A company that literally delivers monthly boxes of sex toys, etc to your doorstep? Sounds like a dream, and way more exciting than fruit of the month. After checking that they weren’t using toys with jelly and lube with lye (heck, their first box of the month had excellent quality Sliquid in it!), I said to sign me on up for a delivery.

It showed up in a black box, and when I opened it, this is what I saw:

Open Luv My Box

Cute and classy right? Would have liked it a little better if it was actually a doorhanger, but still, a fun concept. Then came the opening of the box itself – why so exciting? Because unlike a fruit of the month schitck, you don’t get to know what you’ll be getting in advance. And the surprise was:

Stuff in Luv My Box

Included were a Screaming O cock ring, Good Head cherry flavored lube, wipes for your genitalia, Frisk Mints, oral sex dice, and Wet Together lube. Not too shabby; each box has a theme of some sort. Clearly, this one was all about the oral.

My biggest issue with this whole concept is that I find sex toys and accessories to be such a personal thing – some people like butt sex while others can’t stand it, some people are allergic to lube with glycerin, others (like me) HATE pink with a firey passion. Moreover, it’s clear that these kits are designed for straight, cisgender folks that fall pretty strongly into the gender binary.  You can see a list of what has been in each box by clicking here. So yes, while December’s box could be used by a cross dressing male who wants a feather boa and Gun Oil to jerk off, it is obviously designed for a straight cis man and straight cis woman, namely one who is pretty feminine and wants to do a strip tease. That’s fine if that is what your relationship looks like, but we actually couldn’t use anything from our box. My partner doesn’t have an attached penis, and I have a glycerin sensitivity, so while the wipes and mints were cool, it was a bit of a let down, for us.

As a grammatical side note, I also *personally* hate when love is spelled “luv,” just like when you is spelled “u” or fantasies is spelled “fantasys.” A pet peeve of mine.

That being said, it is $34,95 a month to sign up for the Luv My Box club, and the items you get add up to being worth more than that. Whether as a gift to someone else, or for your and your lover, if you have no preferences about your sex toy, or fit within the concept of a straight, cisgender, male/female couple, this could be a fun present to shake things up in the bedroom. I’m just hoping that if this takes off, they have a few different boxes you can check to ensure you’re getting things you might actually like/might actually be able to use!

-Shanna

Apr 082011
 

 

A few years back, I took a tour of the Kink.com Armory in San Francisco. One room was where they stored all their fucking machines, including one titled Lick A Chick, which was silicone tongues on a chainsaw belt. Upon seeing it, I wished that they’d come up with an at home, more personal use version. Lucky for us, they have. It’s called the SQWEEL. It’s tongues on a wheel….the end.

It’s exactly what it sounds like — a bunch of silicone tongues on a wheel, that rotate in circle at various speeds. It’s pretty amazing, and as long as you add a little lube to reduce friction (update! YOU MUST ADD LUBE – this is a non-negotiable!(, I can totally see how this toy might become your new BFF. This is a body friendly product; the wheel is made of silicone (helllllo boiling) and the outer casing is a phthalate free ABS plastic. It’s actually pretty awesome; it comes apart for cleaning purposes (thank you! Brilliant design), and apparently, there are now other pink tongue wheels in different styles (bumpy, nubby, etc) that you can switch out for the original tongues on a wheel. I love options.

This may not be *the* best partner toy; it can be hard to have someone find the exact right angle to use on it, and for many people, if you have someone with a deliciously wet tongue in front of you, it might seem silly to pull out your fabulous tongues on a wheel (although let me never be the one to tell you how to use your sex toys!). On the other hand, this is a brilliant toy for masturbation (vulva or anal — the silicone is sterilizable!) and for those who LOVE oral sex and aren’t getting that tongue to clit (or tongue to anus) action (or maybe not as much as they want), this is a great stand in. Also fun to use on nipples — would love to hear of other places as well.

And now, tis time to decide if this is the newest addition to your household of awesome! If you decide you like the concept, but want different tongue action, there are multiple options for purchase!

 

Click here to get your very own Sqweel to enjoy!

Shannna