Feb 162013
 

This is a post by one of my Spring 2013 interns, Rebecca. Find more posts from her and other current and former interns under the Intern Corner section.Shanna

Salt-n-Pepa style. As you take a quick trip back to your jean jacket and spandex wearing days and rock out to this fabulous 90s jam, I must acknowledge that this song (sadly) reinforces some stereotypes around sex and gender that limit both our daily and sex lives (for example, I know many men who enjoy making love). That said, I think Cheryl James and the crew are right about one thing – it is time to truly, and honestly talk about sex.

Americans love sex. We sell cars, laundry detergent, and shampoo with sex. Entire movies are based around sex. Clothing companies write irrelevant words on the butts of women’s sweatpants so we look their behinds. Americans love sex. Or really, American capitalism loves sex. Regardless, every day we are bombarded with images, inferences, advertisements, and conversations about sex, SEX, sex. But what exactly is everyone selling?

We all probably agree that the sex being sold in the advertisement industry is the mainstream definition of sex. Vanilla sex: heterosexual, male on top, female on bottom, penis penetrating a vagina, interaction ceasing when the male ejaculates. Don’t get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with this type of sex. It’s quite lovely. I’ve done it. I can count on one hand how many times my orgasm conveniently, simultaneously, and I might even say magically, paired up with my partner’s, but it has happened and was indeed lovely.

This type of sex is single faceted. I mean, just change one thing about that encounter and you might as well quit. Two men? Whoa!  That just messes up the whole line of events. Female on top? Well…maybe when mainstream culture is feeling a little kinky.

Fascinatingly, when thinking about someone else’s sex life, we commonly default to the sexual interaction described above. When asked to define our own, however, we give as many different answers as there are ice cream flavors in the freezer aisle of your locally-named-chain grocery store. Hmm. Curious.

Jessica Valenti points out in her absolutely stellar book, The Purity MythI’m sorry, stop reading this blog right now, go to your locally owned bookstore, buy this book, read it, let it change your life, return to this bookstore, buy as many copies as you have relatives, friends, and mere acquaintances, then quit your job and begin passing this book out on the street corner, because yes, it is that good…Ahem. As I was saying, Valenti notes that people struggle when asked to get down and dirty and define sex.  Some argue that penetration makes sex. Which is fine and dandy except for the little question of, what is penetrating what?  Is a finger penetrating an anus, a tongue penetrating a vagina, or a penis penetrating a hula hoop? Others argued that engaging in oral sex made sex, sex.  A friend of Valenti’s suggested that the presence of an orgasm determined whether the interaction was sex (a thought provoking definition indeed).

This disagreement on the definition is consistent with the research I conducted at a local college here in Colorado last year. Definitions of sex were not only incredibly varied but also vague.

Let’s recap. 1) We know that we have this mainstream definition of sex that is quite limited. 2) When people are asked to provide their own personal definition of sex, we get a wide variety of answers many of which fall under the mainstream definition and many of which do not. So, why is the definition of sex so important?

Because your sex life depends on it!                                

Whew. Let’s unpack this suitcase. If you wear rose colored glasses, the world looks pink, right?  If you wear goggles that you made out of your younger sister’s training bra…actually if you succeed at that, let me know, that is just impressive…Point is, if you define sex the way the mainstream world defines sex, you can bet your grandpa’s best chocolate fudge cupcake that you won’t be straying far off that road. And even if we do have our own personal definition, we are all being watered by the same rain. It is hard to completely shed the mainstream perspective.

I know what you’re thinking…but you said yourself, that when individuals are asked to define sex they have a wide variety of definitions, not just the one the mainstream pitches to us daily. Absolutely! Amen. But how many people take the time to actually to define sex for themselves?   And out of those, how many individuals first take the time to learn all the things that “sex” could possibility encompass, and then once armed with this universe of possibilities, go forward to then define sex for themselves? And out of those, how many let their partner(s) know their own personal definition of sex?

There are so many possibilities. Thank goodness I found the The Guide to Getting it On, by Paul Joannides to clue me in on the all the options because, holy smokes, they don’t teach you this stuff in sex ed. If you haven’t already heard of this book, it is definitely worth your time, because is a super easy and fun read.

Let’s take the time to explore sex with the hopes of working towards our own definition. This means taking some risks, exploring, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, asserting yourself, and communicating. I mean, let’s be real, isn’t that why we all found our way to this fabulous site?

 

 

 

Feb 032011
 

This afternoon, I’m super excited to have one of my favorite dommes in the entire world on my Let’s Talk Sex Radio show at 4pm MST. Who could it possibly be?

Why, it’s Mistress Saskia, the headmistress of Pavlovia Denver, owner of the RACK Room, and all around awesome-sauce person!

Mistress Saskia Pavlovia Denver

Mistress Saskia of Pavlovia Denver (Photo Credit: Bizarre Mag)

We’re going to talk kink, BDSM, ropes, role play and oh so much more, for the most novice bondage beginner to those who have lived in the lifestyle. Plus, as always, toy reviews, lots of giveaways, the Position of the Day game, and lots more fun.

Just listen to 1100AM KFNX in the Phoenix area, or head over to the Let’s Talk Sex Radio Show webpage to stream it live on your computer. Tune in, turn on, and have fun!

-Shanna

Jan 202011
 

Hey folks!

Today I’m lucky enough to Heidi Lee from the cooking show Into the Soup AND Martha Hopkins, author of my favorite erotic cookbook “Intercourses” on my show today! We’re going to talk about sex (of course…this IS Let’s Talk Sex with Shanna), as well as sexy and erotic cooking, aphrodisiacs, the correlation between food and sex, and of course, we’ll have some great giveaways as always. Don’t forget, you can call in toll free from anywhere in the US!

The show is at 4pm MST, and you can either listen live in the Phoenix valley to 1100 AM KNFX, or stream us live online at www.1100KFNX.com through the radio’s site. I’m super psyched about these guests and this show, and I sure hope you tune in!

Shanna

Jan 132011
 

Jamye Waxman

This afternoon, fabulous sex educator Jamye Waxman will be joining me on my Let’s Talk Sex with Shanna Katz radio show on 1100 AM KFNX. You can either listen live on the radio if you’re in the Phoenix area, or go to www.1100KFNX.com to stream it live. The show goes on at 4pm MST, and we’re going to talk toys, positions, masturbation and more, plus as always, we’ll have great giveaways! You can always call in toll free, so we hope to hear from you.

-Shanna

Oct 212010
 

Shanna Katz

Are you ready? I’m not sure if I am. But I’m proud to introduce…

Let’s Talk Sex with Shanna Katz, a weekly Thursday afternoon radio show.

While the show will be locally aired in Phoenix on channel KFNX 1100AM, you can also hear it live by streaming it anywhere in the world from the KFNX website.

It will air at 4pm local time in AZ every Thursday. That means 4pm pacific time on October 21st, 28th and November 4th, and then 4pm mountain time November 11th and onwards, as Arizona doesn’t practice daylight savings.

We’ll discuss sex education, the spectrum of sexuality, sex toys, sexual activity, body image, masturbation, and much more, as well as have amazing guests. So far, I’ve booked Dr. Ruthie, Megan Andelloux, Garnet Joyce, Julian Wolf, Catherine Toyooka, Lillith Grey, Lee Harrington, and Jacq Jones…and that’s just through the end of 2010. It’s hopefully going to be an amazing show, and will be made better by people like you listening in, calling in (there is a toll free number too!) and asking interesting questions.

I’ll continue to be open to feedback, and look forward to what you all think.

Click here to hear Let’s Talk Sex with Shanna Katz, Thursdays at 4pm AZ time.

-Shanna

Jun 072010
 

New workshop THIS Thursday night in Phoenix!

This Thursday night at 7pm, I’m teaching a NEW workshop about sexuality, as part of Fascinations‘ “Let’s Talk Sex” Series. It’s called Anal 101: What’s Up with the Butt? You’ll learn the ins and outs (pun intended) of anal sex, lubes to use, how to have it more safely, how to make it not hurt, new ways to enjoy it and more.

Like all Let’s Talk Sex Events, it’s 100% free, and each attendee gets a $10 gift card good in store or on FunLove.com. 18+ only. Click the flier for more info.

-Shanna

Mar 092010
 

As many of you know, I’ve been working with Fascinations for the last few months, and in February, presented my first workshop for the Let’s Talk Sex series called What’s in Your Toybox.  Because many people don’t live near our stores, or couldn’t make it out for a variety of reasons, we’re going to try and post many of these workshop recordings online so that they are visible to everyone.  Please enjoy!

-Shanna

(Thank you to Michael and Matt at  Fascinations for doing an awesome job with the video stuff-ish-ness)

Feb 152010
 

 

Hey all.  On Thursday (yes, this Thursday, the 18th), I ‘ll be putting on a Let’s Talk Sex workshop at the Fascinations‘ Scottsdale store. As part of Fascinations giving back to the community, the workshops is 100% free to all attendees, although space is limited to around 50; first come, first served.

This class will be part of the series of free “Let’s Talk Sex” workshops that Fascinations is putting on, both in Arizona and CO. I’m presenting a workshop entitled “What’s in Your Toy Box?”, which will talk about the spectrum of sex toys, how they work, what they’e designed for/what they can be used for, how you should clean and store them, and much more. Regardless of whether you’re starting with a bullet vibe or have an entire room full of toys, this is a great class for you!

February 18, 2010

7pm-9pm

14747 N. Northsight Blvd

Scottsdale, AZ

(480) 388-3178