Sep 172012

magic banana

As those of you who know me are aware, I am all about supporting people in exploring and getting to know their own bodies. Ergo, when I was offered my own Magic Banana to review, my ears perked up. A kegel exerciser? Something designed for vulva owners to work on strengthening their PC muscles, which can result in stronger and longer orgasms, less incontinence during aging/postpartum, and easier vaginal birth? Heck yes I wanted to try it.

I’ve been a huge supporter of kegel balls and vaginal barbells for years. I helped JeJoue with developing Ami, their 3-in-1 set of kegel balls. I give kegel balls as gifts for bridal showers, baby showers, and just for the heck of it. I was quite excited to add the Magic Banana to my list of resources for people wanting to get in touch with their vaginal walls, and work on strengthening their muscles.

However, I was sadly disappointed. Underwhelmed beyond belief. I’m still not sure how one is supposed to enjoy using this — even with some water based lube, I found inserting it uncomfortable (yes, the “smile “was the correct direction, according to the instructions), and I couldn’t get it in very far. Unlike kegel balls, you don’t wear the banana for any period of time — you have to hold it inside you while you do your kegel exercises. I’m not sure how this is any different than inserting a dildo and doing your kegels around that…especially since the dildo is more likely to have additional uses. I found it not only less than comfy, but also quite unwieldy.  The shape and my vagina were not the best of friends, and the material isn’t sterilizable (although it IS body friendly and phthalate free), meaning that I can’t even foist it off on my friends, hoping that they have better luck.

The guide itself was pretty good — I appreciate the diversity of the women in pictures, including different ages and women of color (although I would love to have seen a trans man, as they too have kegel muscles that could use strengthening). The instructions were pretty good about the care, upkeep and use…except I was put off by the part where they talked about cleaning things put in the anus before putting them in the vagina. Well, yes, you should do that. However, you should NEVER put the magic banana in your butt. Two reasons: a) it doesn’t have a flanged base that is significantly wider than the rest of the toy, meaning it could easily get lost in your butt, and send you on a trip to the ER, and b) it is NOT sterilizable, ergo, if you put a material like that in your butt, you CANNOT sterilize it, meaning that you CANNOT put it into your (or anyone else’s) vagina. I get really frustrated about misinformation in sexuality product guides, and so, like the issues with Jimmy Jane suggesting you try the Form 4 anally (NO), I shall have to call this out too. Butts are for things that have properly sized flanged basis, and are made of materials that can be truly sterilized. And/or fingers, hands and penises (which all technically follow the aforementioned guidelines anyways).

So alas, I’m not sure I can really recommend the Magic Banana. As someone who has tried a LOT of toys, exercisors, etc, the fact that this didn’t feel good and seemed like a lot of work made it not really worth the cost. If you’re into yellow tubing, and well, bananas, this could work for you. However, I’d rather suggest Smart Balls (duo or uno, depending on your comfort), or the Ami set. If you’re really into bananas, perhaps the Sex-A-Peel would be a good fit for a vibator.

Best wishes,


Jul 262010

Smartballs Teneo Duo

As you may have seen from some of my reviews (or heard in some of my classes), I’m a big proponent of everyone with a vagina/hole/cunt/pussy/va-jay-jay or whatever you’d like to call it, being the proud owner of a pair of kegel exercise balls.

Why? Because unless you’re very good and regimented about sitting (or lying) around each day, squeezing your PC muscles multiple times, you probably could use a little help working out your pelvic floor muscles. Kegel balls are great for this, because they work while you move around; if you’re running errands, heading across campus, wheeling down the block, etc, the smaller balls inside the bigger balls rumble/vibrate a little, helping your body work out the muscles, even if you aren’t conscious of doing it. It’s working them out without even having to think about it.

How can they help? Strong PC muscles (aka, kegel muscles or pelvic floor muscles) can make orgasms easier to achieve, make them stronger, longer, and more intense, can help the owner of said muscles get in better touch with their own body, can make labor easier, and recovery from birth quicker, as well as prevent incontinence as you get older. See, balls can be a great thing!

Top three suggestions?

If you’re a newbie, start with the Smartballs Teneo Uno. It’s just one ball (rather than 2), so it’s an easier start, and less intimidating. As you get better and better, and stronger and stronger, you can move to the Teneo Duo.

If you’re trying to stay on the more affordable end of things, check out the Couture‘s line of kegel balls called “Couture Eclipse.”  Still body friendly, and a bit lighter on the wallet, these can be a good option.

Want something with a bit of texture to it? I’d suggest looking at Ophoria’s K-Balls Textured (although these are also available in a smooth option for those who prefer). Not everyone loves the texture, but those who do, swear by it!

As a note, remember these are NOT anus-safe, and should not be used in the back door!