May 252011

As many of you know, May happens to be National Masturbation Month! I thought I’d write another piece on Masturbation in honor of such an important month.

Now, I know that for many people, masturbation is a private thing. When we were younger, we were taught to “do it” privately, as quickly and as quietly as possible, so that our parents/siblings/partners/etc didn’t walk in on us. This is why many people have been trained to orgasm as quietly as possible (regardless as to whether they are a louder or quieter orgasm-er or pleasure receiver), and it’s why many penis owners haven’t been able to figure out how to separate orgasm from ejaculation, making it harder for them (pun intended) to have multiple orgasms. Society tells us to be ashamed of “having” to masturbate when partnered, and we use very shaming language around masturbation in general.

Good news folks — I’m here to tell you that it is not so! Not only is masturbation a fabulous and fun activity to do on your own (whether or not you have a partner or two or three), but it’s a great activity to do WITH your partner. What am I talking about?

*You can both (or all) lie in bed masturbating together! It’s 100% safer sex, you’re still experiencing sexual pleasure at the same time, and you both (or all) know that you’re getting the exact kind of stimulation that you want.

*You can show off to your partner the type of stimulation you like, so they get a better idea of the type of touch, vibration and or/stimulation that you like! Next time (or post pleasure), switch it up, so you get to learn more about them

*You can masturbate when your partner is sore, tired, sleepy, frustrated, studying, etc. They can touch you, either passively or actively, so you still have some sort of connection together, even if you can take the time or energy at that given moment to have interactive sexual activity between the two of you.

*If you’re in a long distance relationship, masturbating over the phone or via skype can absolutely help keep some of the loving and/or sexual feelings going, even if you can’t do the things you’d like to do to each other.

There are lots of other reasons and ways to masturbate and involve your partner(s) at the same time. Whether you’re ringing southern bells, crossing the mason-dixon line, clicking the five finger mouse, saying hi to Rosie Palm and her five friends, choking the bishop, or some other such things, masturbation can be fun solo, with a partner, or in a group, and should be celebrated for the exciting exploration and revelation of sexuality that it is!


May 132011

In case you were not yet aware, May is National Masturbation Month!

Now, many awareness months bring attention to negative things that may be happening, such as April being National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Other awareness months focus on getting people to act on something, to change their behavior, like Get Yourself Tested (for STIs) Month.

However, May is all about something fun and pleasurable; masturbation, self love, flying solo, etc. Everyone has the ability, in some way, shape or form, to masturbate. You can do it on your own, you can love yourself while in the same room/bed/space as your partner, you could even be that star of a one person sex show. Whether you use your fingers, toys, a pillow, your mind, porn, erotica, a washing machine, the shower head, an electric toothbrush, a vibrating hair brush, a condomed cucumber (not anal safe unless you carve a base into it), or something else entirely, masturbation is a fabulous way to get to know your sexual self a little better, explore your wants and needs, and let of a little sex-centered steam…as well as a great way to practice safer sex if you’re getting down with a partner.

Orgasms can add endorphins and oxytocin to your system, making you feel super good — whether the orgasm is with a partner, or on your own. Masturbation feels good in general. If you masturbate, you get to know your body better, meaning you can tell current/future partners what you like (and don’t like) as well as know if something is changing in a not so good way (and then you can let your doctor know). For many, masturbation can give you a surge of energy, while for many others, masturbation is a great way to relax, de-stress, and even ease into sleep. One study in Australia found that those with prostates who ejaculated (via masturbation or other sexual activities) 30 times or more a month had a significantly lower risk of getting prostate cancer.

So with all of these reasons to jack and jill off, why not get started? Don’t forget some of the following:

*Whatever way you masturbate (assuming than any viewers/participants are consenting) is the right way for you. There is not holy grail/right way to masturbate. Promise.

*If you’re an exhibitionist, make sure anyone who might stumble across you (roommates, family, park rangers, security guards, etc) is consenting to what they might see.

*If toys are your forte, don’t forget to use body friendly toys (and clean them regularly!), or put a condom on any toy that my contain phthalates or other non-orifice friendly chemicals.

*Have a friend (or two) join in; circle jerks are not just for high school boys (although that is the stereotype). Group masturbation can be fun, and you can learn things.

*Not wanting to share with your friends? If you have a partner, consider inviting them. You can both learn a ton about each others’ bodies, and what your turn ons are!

Happy National Masturbation Month to everyone!