May 112011
 

Note: Permission is ALWAYS obtained before posting people’s questions on this site. Have a question you’d like to ask anonymously? You can use my contact form, or email ShannaKatz at Gmail.com!

Dear Shanna-

I have PCOS so I have a weird VERY infrequent period situation. In 2010 I had a total of five periods, and two were induced with Provera.  I haven’t had a period yet in all of 2011, and I went to the gyno for my yearly last month. My pap was normal but they told me I had a yeast infection. Took care of that with no problem – didn’t even know I had it!


My husband and I were going at it the other night and after a [vaginal]  fisting session – he noticed a brown-ish fluid. We cleaned up and I woke up the next morning with my period – on FULL FORCE! This has happened before (last December) where no period, then BAM! It is hard to look up with google because everything says that you are or may be prego and so on.
We are just wondering if it normal for rough sex/fisting and or fingering to bring on periods? I mean- is it safe to do this more often so I do get periods since my body doesn’t do it on its own? Its really confusing to me! At our last visit last month my gyno wants me to take Provera about every 3 months to make sure I am shedding my liner. Grrrrr.

-Pissed at PCOS

Dear P@P-

Firstly, mazel tov on remembering to go in for your yearly gyno visit! What seems to be happening is that intense uterine spasming is encouraging the start of the shedding of your uterine lining, starting your period. For some people, fisting, rough sex, g-spot specific fingering, and other sexual activities can cause a different type of orgasm, that can be more intense as far as the involvement of your uterus (versus, for example, a more clitoral centric orgasm, which feels just as good, but uses other body parts).

I’ve known many other folks who have PCOS, and sometimes, certain types of sex can trigger the onset of a period (as can other things, like eating less dairy/fatty foods, etc). Sounds like fisting might be one of those triggers for you. In my completely NOT medical opinion, I’d say it’s safe to play with rougher sex and/or fisting as much as you’d like — just know that it might not always trigger your period. It might all the time, some times, or this may be a one off. But as long as you’re enjoying it, is sounds like it’s a fun experience with a bonus for you! If you start feeling pain regarding any of this sexual play, or have excessive bleeding beyond your period, it’s time to go see the doctor, but in the mean time, have fun!

Hope this helps!

-Shanna

Dec 082010
 

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to get to participate Ignite Phoenix After Hours. Basically, if chosen to present, you have five minutes and 20 power point slides to present on a topic that you are passionate about. I, being passionate about it, chose vaginal fisting…which should NOT be done in 5 minutes, but you can definitely talk about it in five minutes. I had fun, although I usually don’t use computers or power points when I do workshops, so it was definitely a different experience.

I’m sorry you can’t see the power point so well, but at least the volume is pretty good. Thanks to my wonderful partner for taping it for me! Enjoy, and remember fisting is fun!

Enjoy!

-Shanna

Sep 212010
 

Hey all!

Later this week I’ll be headed first to Salem, OR to teach at Enigma, and then I’m off to San Francisco to have some fun and present at Folsom Street Fair over the weekend. Next Monday and Tuesday, at Good Vibrations, I’ll be doing not one but TWO awesome classes! Seats do fill up, so I encourage you to pre-register if you can. I really hope to see a lot of you there!

Both of these workshops will be held at the Polk St. store.

Good Vibrations
1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street)
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 345-0400
Map & directions

Vaginal Fisting for One and All (NEW)
Monday, September 27,
6-8 pm
$25 in advance, $30 at the door

Fisting is one of those words that makes people say “ooooh!” Sometimes, it’s an “I’m so excited about that” way, and other times it’s more of a “you want me to put WHAT in my WHERE?” response. If you’re curious about fisting, come learn from an expert. Shanna Katz will explain vaginal fisting is (and what it isn’t), how to introduce it into your relationships, what you need to think about in regards to safety, why lube is so important and more. Everyone can use a helping hand when it comes to fisting, so come one, come all, and really get to understand the amazing ins and outs of vaginal fisting.

To register for this workshop, please visit http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/112656

Right Foot Red, Left Hand Lube: Sex Positions for Everyone (NEW)
Tuesday, September 28,
6-8 pm
$25 in advance, $30 at the door

Forget the Kama Sutra and Tantra. Leave your sex swing at home. Shanna Katz is here to tell you all about sex positions that anyone can do; no fancy hardware or spiritual revelations needed. We’ll talk about everything from Missionary to Froggy Style, Reverse Cowgirl to the Sneaky Vampire. Want a threesome? Got positions for that. Have arthritis? We’ve got positions for that. Ready to integrate sex toys into the bedroom (or shower, or car)? Check. Bring your favorite position in mind, and be ready to try out new positions (with clothes on) as we sex-plore our way through the endless types of positions available to us. Open to singles, couples and more-somes, and people of all gender and orientations.

To register for this workshop, please visit http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/112676

Shanna Katz, M.Ed

Feb 122010
 

I would say that of my more “hands on” workshops, fisting is definitely the fav; it is the most requested, and almost consistantly sells out/becomes standing room only.  I’m always surprised by this, and then I realize, really, how many people get so see fisting up close and personal, in a healthy and safe environment, with good information? Not many.  And that, my friends, is why Vaginal Fisting for One and All gets people to come again and again. Not pun intended; I’ve had a lot of repeat students in my classes!

Let’s talk fisting.  One of my twitter followers oh so kindly pointed out that she’d looked for an article on fisting, or how to fist a vagina, or vaginal fisting 101 by me, and couldn’t find anything. I felt a little of a failure, and so, here it is.  While of course, coming to a class (mine or someone else’s) is obviously a more in-depth (oh, I’m so punny) experience, here are some great tips for those of you without the opportunity to experience fisting education up close and personal.

Firstly, when people think fisting, they often think of a big, angry fist, like the kind you’d punch someone with.  While some people do enjoy more aggressive fisting with a full fist, that’s not where you start off.  Make a big duck lip with your hand.  THAT is what you’re going to begin with (well, you begin with one finger, then two, and work your way up to the duck lips). Every vagina/cunt/etc is different; the direction that it will go in depends on the person. You might hold it rightside up, upside down, or even sideways or on a diagonal angle.  It’s like putting a puzzle together, except it involves a hand and a opening instead of puzzle pieces. Exploring the vagina or exploring the cunt (whatever work you prefer), is part of the fun!

The key to fisting is to go slowly, as you’ll read more about below.  Slow and steady wins the race. It might not happen the first time, second time, even the first ten times you try. That’s ok.  This is not about who get get their hand inside their partner the fastest. It’s about a really instense and immensely enjoyable experience. If it doesn’t happen at first, enjoy the journey and the experience and the exploration, and try try again, using different angles, etc.

Once inside, you can curl your duck bill into a fist. You can SLOWLY (to begin with — ask your partner if they want to speed it up) move it in and out a little, you can knock like you’re gently banging on a door, you can roll your knuckles; experiement.  Figure out what the two of you enjoy doing best, and what feels the best for your partner.

On the way out, make sure you use a finger on the other hand to break the suction that often occurs, and then take time to pull out, possibly almost as much as you did going in.  The vagina/cunt area can be sore, or at least very sensitive.  Sudden movements are usually not appreciated.

Some people prefer being fisting after they’ve already had an orgasm or two; others prefer to just go for the gold. While being fisted, some people enjoy additional stimulaton of the nipples, vulva, clit or anus, with fingers or a vibrator; many people like to pair fisting with the Hitachi. Others don’t want to be touched. Ask. Always ask. Some people can orgasm once or multiple times with a fist inside them, others can’t.  There is no “right” way to enjoy fisting.

Fisting shouldn’t hurt. There may be some pressure, the feeling of being stretched, etc, but there should not be pain. If that is the case, slow down, add lube, ask your partner if they want you to back down a finger or two, etc.  Let the person being fisted (the “fistee”) make these decisions. It is their body that they’re dealing with here.

If done with patience, lube, an open mind and communication, fisting can be an absolutely amazing/intense/fun/enjoyable/spiritual/out of body/ridiculously awesome/etc experience. It’s not angry, aggressive, violent, etc (unless coupled with other types of sex play). It should be enjoyed.  Again, it’s not the holy grail of sex, but just one more amazing aspect that can be explored.

There are four ground rules:

Rule 1: Patience

Almost everyone with a vagina/cunt/front hole/whatever term your prefer *can* be fisted. However, not every vagina can be fisted by every hand, and not every vagina can be fisted right away. Sometimes, a hand is just too big, and no matter how much lube, relaxation, laughter, trust, patience, time, fun, etc there is, it’s not going to happen.

That said, most people *can* make it work with their chosen partner. This doesn’t mean that it’ll happen overnight. Sometimes it will. Sometimes it can take a few tries. And sometimes, this is a months long endeavor. All of these options are perfectly normal; human bodies are obviously very different, and so is our ability to be fisted.  So don’t try to hurry it, to force it, anything like that.

Rule 2: It’s a journey, not a goal

Your body knows what is up; it’s usually somehow connected to your brain.  So when you think “ok, I HAVE to have that whole hand in here tonight, no matter what,” your vagina might be like “Um, ‘scuse me, but HELLLL NO.”  The more pressure you place on yourself to have a sexual goal (orgasm, ejaculation, fisting, etc), often times the more it stresses you out, begins to shut your body down, and make it impossible. Fisting IS super fun, but it should be one of those things that is fabulous if/when it does happen, but is not the end all, be all of sex.  Have fun getting two fingers in, fucking with three, exploring with four.  A whole hand is cool, but it’s not everything. Enjoy exploring each other, and if fisting happens, then great.

Rule 3: Lube

People always laugh when I say this, but I’m dead serious.  Some people produce a lot of natural lube, some people don’t (for various reasons; allergy meds, hormonal birth control, stress, etc). Natural lubrication is NOT an indication of turned on someone is. If you really want to know if they’re excited, and their sounds and actions don’t help you know, ASK THEM. Don’t use lube as a barometer.

That said, fisting requires lube. Natural lube is great, but over time, people tend to run out, dry up a little, your hand (if you’re not wearing a glove) absorbs a lot of the lube, it gets sticky, there isn’t as much as you’d like.  And so on.  So get some. Both water based and silicone based lube are great for fisting; usually, the thicker, the better. I personally love Maximus, which is a gel-like water based, glycerin free lube in an easy access pump bottle. Sliquid Organics is a great all natural lube, and Bodyglide is my favorite silicone lube.

Make sure it’s easy access, because you only have one free hand. Pump tops are great, other wise, remove the top before you begin. Make sure you have lube all the way around your hand, and keep adding as needed. If water-based lube dries out, just add water (spit, squirt gun, spray bottle, etc) to reactivate it. If you still need more lube, add more. It is very difficult to have TOO much lubrication during fisting.

As a side note, using latex or nitrile gloves during fisting can make it an even better experience. You don’t have to worry about rough skin or hang nails hurting the fistee, and the fister’s hand won’t get all prune-y.  Also, gloves don’t absorb lube, so a little bit will go a longer way. And of course, gloves are great for having safer sex, so you aren’t worrying about the transfer of any fluids.

Rule 4: Communicate

You HAVE to communicate, especially the first couple of times you do this. This is NOT the time to try out the new ball gag and bondage. Communitate.  Talk, feel, touch. However you and your partner communicate, make sure you do it.  Have the fistee let the fister know how things are going, whether they need more time/stimulation/lube before moving to the next level, or whether they want the fister to go all the way. Make sure the fister communicates whether they’re getting a hand cramp, getting tired, need a drink of water, etc. You think I’m joking, but when you’re trying to stick a whole hand into a relatively small hole, communicating is really really important.

Once you get towards the very end, when it’s almost all the way in, many fisters like to check in with the fistee, asking them whether they should push their whole hand in past that stubborn area, or whether the fistee wants to ease themself down onto the fisters hand. It can go either way, but make sure both of you know which it’s going to be; other wise, it can be a bit awkward.

Fisting Q and A (questions I’ve actually been asked at workshops):

Q: Will fisting ruin me for “normal” sex?

A: NO! Of course not.  Just because you’ve been fisted doesn’t mean now you can ONLY be fisted and won’t enjoy other types of sexual activity. People who have been fisting can and do enjoy oral sex, anal sex, oral-anal sex, cocks, dicks, dildos, fingers, vibrators, butt blugs, shower heads, hot tubs and more.  In fact, even if you fist on a regular basis, and then take some time (a month +) off of fisting, you may have to start up all slowly again.  The body is an amazing thing, and vaginas/cunts are very elastic. They go right back to where they were.

Q: Can I be fisted if I’ve given birth?

A: Yes! You might even have an easier time of it.

Q: Isn’t fisting just for gay men?

A: I love fisting, and I’m not a gay man. Seriously though, everyone can enjoy some kind of fisting if they’re interested.

Q: What about PC muscles/kegel exercises?

A: Having strong PC muscles can help with strong, longer and more frequent orgasms, and have help with ejaculation/squirting/gushing in some people. If you’re being fisting and do some kegels, the fister can definitely feel it around their hand, which feels cool, and the fistee might experience some more intense sensations.

Q: Can you double fist someone with two hands?

A: If both they and their body is up for it, certainly! It can be lots of fun, either with two hands from the same person, or a hand each from different people.

Q: Can someone be anally penetrated at the same time they’re being fisted in the vagina/cunt?

A: Yes, just a) make sure there is lots of lube, and b) be careful.  That wall of skin between the vagina and anus is strong but a bit delicate; too much aggressive play on both sides at the same time could cause tears and soreness.

Q: Can I be fisted after a hysterctomy?

A: Check with your doctor, but in most cases, after you are healed, yes. I’ve talk to people at my workshops who have had (or whose partners have had) hysterectomies.  Some have had not problem with it (and have found it easier with more space), and others have found that it becomes more difficult. Again, always check with your doctor, whether it’s new rope ties on someone with arthritis, breath play with someone with asthma, or putting a fist in someone what has surgery.

Q: I have a catherter — can I be fisted?

A: Check with your doctor. In most cases, yes, but it’s very important to check with your doctor before doing so (see above). The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has a list of kink friendly professionals, and FetLife has many good referrals to kink friendly professionals as well.

Q: Do you have a book about fisting?

A: Not yet, but I’d love to write one. In the mean time, there is a great book called Hand in the Bush; The Art of Vaginal Fisting by Deborah Addington.

Questions you’d like to have answered? Leave a comment!