May 102010

The other day, I twittered something about how I was having trouble finding the right red corset/skirt/bustle combo, and jokingly suggested that I go onto Say Yes to the Dress to have them help me.  Some of my followers thought it was a great idea, and so I half-jokingly applied online, making it clear that I am a queer, plus size woman who does NOT want a white dress, but have my heart set on a red dress. I made my application a bit political, telling them I thought it was important for them to have more orientation and size diversity.

You can imagine my surprise when I actually heard back from them.  They loved my story, and wanted to know more about me and my partner, and get more pictures of me, and of the two of us.  I sent them.

The casting producer seems to really like me, and my partner and I were actually getting really excited. However, I had only budgeted $500 for my outfit, and while we could probably save $1000 for it, that was it.  The dresses at the store on the show (which is on TLC) start at $1500. Ergo, my budget needs to be $1500-2000 to get to go on the show.

At first, I was like “this is crazy. Spending over a grand on a dress that will only be worn once (or a few times, for costume parties, etc, in my case) is out of control. I guess I just won’t go on the show.”  But then everyone I talked to pointed out the importance of having a plus size woman on TV, and a queer woman (with a gender queer presenting partner), on NATIONAL TV.

So I’m going to try to do it. Many people offered to put a few dollars towards the dress. I’m going to use my frequent travel miles to get there, and stay with my partner’s family.  So the cost is all the dress.  Ergo, I’m trying to raise as much as I can towards the dress, and hope to bring attention both to size diversity and same-sex marriage on national TV.

If you’re willing to help me find the perfect red dress, and queer SYTTD at the same time, and have a couple of bucks lying around, I’d love it if you’d be willing to donate. If not, I completely understand.  Just please don’t threaten me (one person on twitter said he’d like to shoot me in the head for being a queer plus size woman trying to get on TV).  If it’s $5 or $50 (or $500? *looks around hopefully*), every little bit counts, and I would appreciate it very much.  Please don’t donate anonymously — if for some reason this doesn’t go through, I want to make sure everyone gets their money back.

EDIT: I just spoke with the producer and I am officially on the show. My filming date is June 12th.

So without further ado, here is the donation button to get a queer, plus size (disable) woman on national TV trying to find her wedding dress. Please, and thank you, and please pass it on if you’re willing.



Jan 272010

As you browse through my site, you can check out all the workshops, classes, trainings, lectures and more that I offer. Some of them are more popular than others (Vaginal Fisting for One and All is usually standing room only, and Relationship Mapping/Poly 101 almost always sells out), but I do love putting on all of them.

However, I’m always open to ideas, suggestions, feedback and more.  What type of classes/workshops would you like to see me offer? What don’t I teach that I should, and what do I teach that I should try and do more?

Also, where would you like to see me? I currently am scheduled for classes/workshops in both Phoenix and San Francisco, and will probably present in Seattle in May and Denver in July. If you’d like me to come to a place near you, any suggestions for places I can teach/present?

Thanks all for you help and suggestions, in advance of course!