Apr 282011
 

Question:

What are some good pointers for beginning pegging?

Answer:

Fabulous question. For those not in the know, the verb pegging describes the act of a female bodied (or identified) person strapping it on (with harness and cock/dildo of some sort) and penetrating their male bodied (or identified partner) in the ass. Of course, blow jobs on said strap on, and hand jobs, can be involved as well. I’d say it has definitely been a hot topic over the past year or so, making this a very timely question.

Step one; have the “pegger” pick out a harness in which they feel sexy and comfortable. Some people prefer the two strap joque style, some the one strap g-string style, some the boyshort style, and a few people (who tend to have kegel muscles of steel) like the strapless strap on, like the Feeldoe or Nexus. If the peggee is an anal beginner, and the pegger likes the strapless strap on, I’d suggest starting with the Share Extra Small, so it feels good and size isn’t an issue.

Step two; have the “peggee” chose the dildo they would like to have penetrating their ass. Don’t forget that often, our eyes are much bigger than our parts, and while it might seem like a “manly” or “macho” thing to choose a large dildo like the Lonestar or Outlaw, you should start small and work your way up. If the peggee is really beginning, the Tantus Silk Small is a great toy to start with. If you’re looking for something more mid-range, the Vixen Vibrating Mistress Dildo is pretty awesome. You can use condoms on the dildos for easy clean up (and/or sharing), but if that doesn’t interest you, make sure to invest in a good quality, 100% medical grade silicone dildo (good brands include Tantus, Fun Factory, Vixen Creations, Happy Valley, Whipspider Rubberworks, etc), because you can dishwash it or boil it to sterilize it, and you’ll know it is a good, body friendly material.

Step three; LUBE. Please don’t take this lightly. The anus has not way of providing natural lubrication, so you HAVE to add it, and 99% of the time, spit doesn’t cut it. Guess what? Even porn stars usually use lube — you just don’t get to see the pleasure of them applying it. Add the damn lube. If you’re using a soft toy, your best bet is water based lubricant (because silicone lube can ruin your nice silicone toys). My favorite water based lube for anal play is Maximus, but other great lubes are Sliquid Organics and Pink Water. Lube is love folks — I have a sticker that proves it. NEVER use numbing or desensitizing lube for anal play (or anything), as it can lead to serious damage of the anal tissue. If it hurts, STOP.

Step four; communicate. Both the pegger and peggee need to talk about their needs and wants from this experience. Is it to have gender play? Sissification? Power play? Just wanting to try something new? Is this going to be part of foreplay, the main event, or for dessert? Is there a position one of you wants to try? What is important to each of you, and how can you make it happen? If you don’t communicate first (if talking makes you nervous, try email or texting), it’s going to be way less fulfilling and fun, and might even suck. Also, remember, to go slow, to give feedback, and to remember to laugh — when dealing with strap ons, the likelihood that the cock will pop out and the pegger will keep going is high. Hopefully, you can have fun with the person who you’re fucking with, since it’ll make it a better experience over all.

Good luck, and June 9th, I’m teaching Harness Your Pleasure: Strap On 101, which will included conversation about pegging, at the Fascinations in Aurora, CO (and am happy to book this class elsewhere as well).

-Shanna

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Feb 162011
 

Since it IS “Hump Day,” I thought I’d post another video of my anal sex 101 workshop, called What’s Up with the Butt. I have a video of one of my classes already up (click here to view the anal sex class video), but I did this class after I got my two butt puppets; Andi the Anus and Riley the Rectum. Ergo, I thought I’d give it another taping, so you can enjoy more intro to anal fun, and of course, check out my anal puppets. This is a great video (as is the other) to watch if you’re scared of anal sex, wanting to try anal sex, or have tried it and found that it hurt, as well as if you are a lover of butt sex, and just looking for some more fun ideas to try. Class was taught in January 2011 at Fascinations in Arizona.

Enjoy!

-Shanna

Jan 172011
 

Question:

My husband and I want to start exploring anal sex. I know that you have to start slow, use fingers first and all of that, but what is a good beginners anal toy to get me started?

Answer:

First of all, before you bring sex toys into the picture, make sure you add lube. It can be either silicone base lubricant or water based lubricant (unless you’re using silicone toys, then just use water based lube), but your butt does NOT naturally lubricate in any way, shape or form, so you need some lube to help it feel better, go in easier, and to help prevent any pain or tearing. My favorite anal lube to suggest is water based and is called Maximus.

As far as toys, my number one anal toy I love recommending to people is the Flexi Felix from Fun Factory, a 100% silicone set of anal beads. You can start small with just one tiny one, and work your way up. Great first timer dildos are the Silk set from Tantus; they come in small, medium and large. Then of course, if you want to go with a butt plug, I like the Tantus B-Bomb or the Crystal Delights Butt Plug, but these are a little more intermediate than anal beads or small, smooth dildos.

Good luck, have fun, and remember; anal sex isn’t supposed to hurt, so if it does begin to feel uncomfortable, STOP!

-Shanna

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