Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator » Educational

Have YOU gotten yourself tested?

Shanna Katz — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 02:07:44 +0000

Repost from last year, but still, and always important:

Did you know that April is a lot of different months relating to sexuality? One of them happens to be National Get Yourself Tested Month, and I think everyone should be celebrating!

How? It’s easy! Head on over to www.GYTnow.org for information, coupons, ways of find places near by you and more. Whether you’re single, in multiple relationships, sleeping with lots of folks, or in a monogamous relationship, you should know your status regarding STIs. Being “Clean” has nothing to do with whether or not you have a sexually transmitted infection; 75-80% of sexually active Americans have or have had an STI at some point. That’s the majority — it’s OK to have an STI, but you need to know so a) you can get treated either to cure it or help the symptoms (depending whether it is bacterial or viral) and b) so you can make decisions along with your partner(s) about what type of safer sex you’d like to be having. It’s really tough to make those decisions and have those conversations if you don’t even know where you stand.

So whether you choose to head over to Planned Parenthood, your local STI clinic, your primary care physician, your gynecologist, your country health center, your campus clinic, etc, I commend you for taking the first step to power- knowledge. If you need cheap, free or sliding scale testing, it is out there. Take the plunge and get a full panel; find out where you stand so you can then take control of your sexual health and wellness to make decisions that are good for you, as well as for past, present and future partners.

Step up, and make a change!

Shanna

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This post, Have YOU gotten yourself tested?, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on April 10, 2012.

Hey! It’s sexual assault awareness month!

Shanna Katz — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 02:02:34 +0000

Every year, I right about this. Most of my thoughts from it are summed up in my piece about National Sexual Assault Awareness Month from last year. However, some things to always keep in mind.

*Sexual assault does not always involve penetration

*Sexual assault is not limited to females or women identified people

*Sexual assault is not limited to straight people

*Sexual assault does not discriminate by age, ability, race, sex, gender, socio-economic status, size, education, etc.

*Someone YOU know has been sexually assaulted. It’s never funny to joke about it, to tell someone they are lying or deserved it, or anything like that. It is immature, small and rude. And it kind of makes you an asshat.

If you or someone you know has been assaulted, there are many resources. College campuses tend to have hotlines and/or sexual assault response coordinators. You can contact RAINN (the Rape, Assault and Incest National Network). If you need LGBTQ resources, here are some to get you started. Many states have anti violence programs (in Colorado, it is CAVP). Many doctors and social workers have awesome resources as well. If you cannot find any near you/the person you’re helping, please contact me and I will help you.

Together, we can work together to both support survivors, and to change our culture to make it a safer place for EVERYONE.

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This post, Hey! It’s sexual assault awareness month!, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on April 1, 2012.

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club

Shanna Katz — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 14:52:28 +0000

A New Generation of Education-Based Sex Shops is Changing the Adult Industry

March 27, 2012 — The growing community of independent sex-positive shops has a new home thanks to the launch of the Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC), founders Molly Adler and Matie Fricker announced today. Adler and Fricker, owners of Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, New Mexico, started the PPC to share support and resources with other shops like theirs, which help people make informed decisions about sexuality-related products.

Says Adler: “We wanted to get people talking about the unique work we do and the challenges and joys we encounter at Self Serve, and so the Progressive Pleasure Club was born. We believe everyone has a right to enjoy sexual pleasure in a smart and healthy way, and the PPC will educate customers about local, independent stores where they can feel safe shopping, and can trust the safety of the adult products they buy.”

Today a new class of social entrepreneurs are taking the lead in opening sex-positive, independent shops all over the continent. Self Serve is one of a dozen or so like-minded shops in cities from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon, where trained sex educators offer a locally-owned, education-based, ethical place to shop for intimate goods. The Progressive Pleasure Club is a network of independent sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. Member shops are committed to the promotion of accurate and honest pleasure-based sexuality education, and to offering products that meet the highest standards of safety. “We are thrilled that the PPC came into being,” explains Gina Rourke, owner of Nomia in Portland, Maine. “Since 2004, Oh My in Northampton, MA and Nomia have been collaborating and sharing information, as well as our purchasing power. To have the opportunity to join with a cadre of similarly committed entrepreneurs with shared values is nothing short of revolutionary. We are excited to see how this collective will transform lives in our communities as well as the industry at large.”

In the next year PPC members will join forces to educate the public about adult toy safety, promote local support for small business, and lobby adult toy manufacturers to eliminate the use of phthalates and toxins in manufacturing. “We have created a unique space for sharing marginalized voices, both ours and those of our customers. The PPC is bent on radicalizing the adult industry for the better of all,” shares Lea Caughlan, owner the Rubber Rose in San Diego.

As small business owners, the members of the PPC recognize that there’s power in numbers. And not unlike the healthy polyamorous folks they sometimes serve, PPC members seek to approach business from an ethical place of abundance and positivity. After all, PPC members share the goal of promoting sexual health and pleasure for all, and believe there is room for all to succeed as they strive to reach it. Searah Deysach, owner of Chicago’s Early to Bed explains, “I am thrilled to be a part of an organization that is made up of small, local businesses that are committed to the same sex-positive, feminist values as I am. I love that we work together to help all of our shops thrive.”

For more information about the Progressive Pleasure Club, email molly@selfservetoys.com

###

Contact: Molly Adler
505-265-5815
molly@selfservetoys.com
progressivepleasureclub.com

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This post, Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on March 30, 2012.

Trangender Job Fair in Denver

Shanna Katz — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 18:51:25 +0000

Hey folks:

The GLBT Center of Colorado is hosting their annual Transgender Job Fair on May 5th.

“The transgender Career Advancement project was created to bring inclusive employers and the transgender community together in a safe environment. Join The Center and employers such as Shalom Cares and the City and County of Denver on May 5th for an event you won’t want to miss. The Center will also be hosting a rooftop reception for all the attendees after the job fair. See you there!”

Where: The GLBT Center

1301 E. Colfax Avenue, Denver, CO 80218

When: May 5th, 11:30 AM – 3:30 PM

Who: Trans* folks looking for work with inclusive employers

Cost: FREE!

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This post, Trangender Job Fair in Denver, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on March 28, 2012.

Q and A: How to Get Back Out There

Shanna Katz — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:10:59 +0000

Question: I have been celebrate for almost three years, and am terrified to “get back out there.” Any tips on how to reverse or overcome my apparent phobia?

Answer: This can be a scary question to even ask, the I applaud you on putting yourself out there by showcasing self awareness of your nervousness.

It’s tough for EVERYONE to be out there, whether they have never dated, never had sexual partners, etc, whether they have taken some time off from being sexual, or whether they have a different partner every week. We all innately have a huge fear of rejection, whether from family, friends, potential partners, current partners, employers, etc. Being “out there,” what ever that looks like, can be really hard for any one.

Tip number 1: Be yourself. It’s very easy to try and mimic people in magazines, TV shows, fashion shows, head of cliques, etc. Sometimes it feels as though playing a role is easier than being ourselves, because if we do wind up feeling rejected, we can comfort ourselves with the idea that it was out facade that was rejected, not actually ourselves. However, being yourself is a) easier, because you’re not trying to be someone else and b) better, because if you do wind up finding someone you like, and they are interested back, you will KNOW that it is truly you they like, and not wonder if it is the role you’re playing.

Tip number 2: Don’t make too many goals. When we are so set on finding someone to kiss/fuck/date/marry/bring home to mom, we often psych ourselves out. Most couples will tell you that they found their ideal partner just when they had given up looking, or had taken a step back from aggressively searching. Why? Because it’s easier to just be you when you aren’t searching actively for someone, and because people will see a more relaxed you, rather than the trying to impress people you, which is usually what people prefer.

Tip number 3: Meet people in areas of YOUR interest. For some reason, it’s thought that meeting people in bars is a great idea. And it is possible that for some specific people, it is. If you frequently hang out in bars, that might be a good place to try. However, if like most people, you hang out more often in places that don’t have tall stools and booze, you should try to meet people in areas in which you feel comfortable. Like chess? Chat up that cutie at chess club. More of a runner? Ask that smarty pants to be your jogging buddy! Spend a lot of time volunteering at an animal shelter? See if your fellow volunteer would like to talk up the cute kitties and puppies after your shift. This way, you know you already have a shared interest that goes beyond getting wasted.

Tip number 4: Be gentle to yourself. Getting “back out there” can feel incredibly intense, and if you are super nervous about it, you may either go under board or overboard, over share or under share…and guess what? It’s all ok. Just take your time, relax, and congratulate yourself for even giving it a good try and getting back out there. No hurry on finding the one, whether it’s for one evening or for longer. Take a breath, take care of yourself.

Best of luck,

-Shanna

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This post, Q and A: How to Get Back Out There, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on December 2, 2011.

Q and A: Spicing up a “Boring” Relationship

Shanna Katz — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 22:03:48 +0000

Question: What are some fun ways to spice up a boring relationship?

Answer:

There is no one size fits all answer to this question, because “boring” definitely depends on who you ask. For some, it could mean that sexual activity is frequent, but always the same. For others, it might mean sexual activity isn’t a frequent as it used to be. For yet others, it might not have anything to do with the sex — perhaps everything seems to be “meh” — no exciting date nights, or doing the same thing every evening.

First thing to do; figure out what it is that you think is boring. Then, in a super NICE and CARING way, bring it up to your partner.

Good Example: “I love spending time with you having adventures, and feel like we haven’t gotten to have many lately — is there anything you’ve been ding to do or places to explore? Let’s create an adventure this weekend!”

Not as good example: “We never do anything fun any more!”

Good example: “It’s awesome that we get to have sexy times so often…I was thinking maybe we could watch this DVD/read this book/try out _____ to add some new exciting variations, since I love having sex with/fucking you!”

Not as good example: “We have sex a lot, but it’s boring/same old thing night after night.”

You hopefully like/love your partner, so it’s good to do your best to not hurt their feelings, and to let them know what you DO like about being them, and what you would like to have more of, because you enjoy it. You have to do some work too — get some ideas going for what you want to do. Check out your local paper/websites to get ideas for free and/or cheap things to do in your neighborhood. If you’re trying to have more adventures in your sex life, try out some books or adult DVDs to get suggestions. If you’re wanting to be sexual more often, it is probably worth re-defining your idea of sex; it doesn’t always have to be oral, or intercourse, or _____. Thinking about adding in some hot make out sessions, some fun role play, or even erotic massages. There are lots of ways to be sexually active with each other; they don’t always have to involve penetration, or even genitals or orgasms. Having fun together sexually can be just as awesome as having traditional sex.

Hope this helps,

-Shanna

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This post, Q and A: Spicing up a “Boring” Relationship, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on November 28, 2011.

Q and A: How Young Is Too Young For Sex?

Shanna Katz — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:34:43 +0000

Question: When do you deem it too young to have sex?

Answer: This is a hard question, no matter who you ask.

First of all, legally, it depends completely on where you live. Some states, if you have sex before you are 18, even if your partner is also under 18, it is still illegal depending on the age difference. If you are young (ie, under 18), make sure you know your state’s laws before you make ANY choices, so you know what could possibly happen if you or your partner’s parents are not ok with what is going on. Keep in mind that purchasing sex toys that are billed as sex toys (versus back massagers from the Sharper Image) is also reserved for those 18 and older.

If you’re talking about physically too young, anything prior to puberty is WAY too young. Period. Bodies are not designed to be sexually active with each other before puberty. That being said, physically ready is far less important than being emotionally and mentally ready. As far as emotionally and mentally maturity, it varies A LOT from person to person. I have met sexually active 15 year olds that can talk to me about having gotten STI tests, being on birth control and using a barrier method, discussing the “What Ifs: with their partner, etc. To me, they understand more of the pros and cons of having sex than some 30 year olds I’ve met who do not think at all about the consequences of being sexually active. I’ve met more the my fair share of adults who are not emotionally or mentally mature enough to be having sex (in my opinion).

Basically, what I am trying to say is there is no cut and dry way to know if you are ready for sex or not, but if YOU are pondering if you are too young for it, that sounds to me like maybe you are. No one ever got hurt from waiting a little bit longer to be sexually active, regardless if they were 14, 18, 36 or 82. Take a little bit longer to figure out if what you are planning on is the right fit for both you and your partner, and then you can look at your decision again in a little bit.

Sorry I don’t have some magical answer, but like most things sexually associated, there just is not one perfect answer to questions.

Hope this helps,

-Shanna

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This post, Q and A: How Young Is Too Young For Sex?, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on November 16, 2011.

Q and A: Does Semen Whiten Your Teeth?

Shanna Katz — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 23:07:35 +0000

Question: Does semen whiten your teeth?

Answer: As much as you may want to hear that swallowing in the course of a blow job will act like Crest Whitening Strips, I hate to break it to you; this is one of the many myths associated with sex, and semen specifically. And while we’re at it; nor does semen provide your daily nutritional needs in the protein department.

Feel free to choose whether to swallow or not; that is always and will always be up to you. Just remember the following:

a) Semen can contain STIs, so get you and your partner tested on a full STI panel before you make this decsion.

b) Swallowing does not make oral sex better or worse than letting them ejaculate elsewhere (chest, face, back, towel, shower, bed, themselves, etc). Do it if you like it, but know it doesn’t change the sensation.

c) Semen is not a good source of any vitamins, minerals, or nutrition. It will not make your hair shinier, whiten your teeth, make your skin smoother, etc. Those are all false statements, but ones that are bandied about quite often.

Hope this helps,

-Shanna

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This post, Q and A: Does Semen Whiten Your Teeth?, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on November 13, 2011.

Looking for an LGBTQ/Kink/Poly Friendly Provider?

Shanna Katz — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 14:30:58 +0000

Working with both communities like the LGBTQ community, the kink community, the poly community, and more, as well as working with medical professionals (who usually want to be open and inclusive to the aforementioned communities), I’m realizing more and more how difficult it can be to find a medical provider (doctor, therapist, specialist, counselor, OB-GYN, etc) that you KNOW is going to be receptive to your identities.

Luckily, here are a few tips to help you out!

First of all, if you are part of the LGBTQ community, the first place I’d suggest looking is the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association’s website. They have a fancy schmancy special section called “Find a Provider.” You can search based on where you are, as well as the type of professional you’re looking for. Of course, there are no guarantees, as medical professionals self report to be part of the directory, by becoming members. That being said, if a doctor or therapist pays money to become part of such an association, in order to have their name listed on their directory, there is a much higher likelihood that they are in fact open and accepting of the community, if not truly knowledgeable about the LGBTQ spectrum. Now, not all doctors even know about this. I KNOW my doctor is an LGBTQ/Ally rockstar based on having seen her for years, and she isn’t listed. However, it’s a place to start.

Another place to look is the website of your local LGBT Center, Gender identity center or GLBTQ Chamber of Commerce — they often have local businesses and resources listed. My awesome aforementioned doctor, while not on the GLMA site, IS on the Gender Identity Center of Colorado’s list of suggested doctors.

If you are kinky and/or polyamorous, head on over to the National Coalition for Sex Freedom‘s list of Kink Aware Professionals. These are folks (again, doctors, therapists, counselors) who actively identify as being inclusive of and friendly towards kinky people, poly people and sexually adventurous people.

The best way though? Ask around your community. Some LGBTQ, poly and/or kink communities have resource lists for their local area on medical professionals that other members of the community have stated to be inclusive. Check out groups on FetLife or Facebook, and ask for references. Looks at who is advertising in local LGBTQ publications, kink conferences (or on FetLife), etc. Again, if people are willing to put themselves out there in the community, there is a pretty good chance that they are open to seeing patients from that community.

I have great recommendations for dentists, GPs, physical therapists, knee surgeons, massage therapists and therapists/counselors in Denver, if anyone happens to need one. Still looking for a rocking, queer friendly neurologist…if anyone happens to know of one!

-Shanna

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This post, Looking for an LGBTQ/Kink/Poly Friendly Provider?, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on November 2, 2011.

Making Presentations Less Ableist

Shanna Katz — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:37:48 +0000

I frequently speak on disability awareness, the intersection between disability and sexuality, and other such awesome topics. One big part of that when speaking to able bodied folks is talking about how to make their education and workshops that THEY provide more accessible overall. Here are some quick tips to think about when writing/talking/presenting, whether around sexuality or anything else. Remember, it’s ok to mess up — I still do it sometimes. NO one is perfect, no one is an expert. This being said, take a moment to review the things you do and say, the language you use, and how you market your classes, and let’s work on recognizing able bodied privilege and working on reducing ableism in our communities.

Think about your language! Lots and lots of words and phrases in the English language come from an ableist perspective. Some are easy to call out; using retarded is not ok, period. Others have wormed their way in more sneakily — calling something lame is ableist, as is calling something (or someone) dumb. Idiot is also quite ableist, although not as obvious to most people. Another HUGE ableist word (and one I myself am still working on removing from my vocabulary, since it is so ingrained) is the use of the words crazy, insane, etc. Lots of people have issues that present mentally; who are we, lay people, to decide what sanity looks like? Saying someone is wearing a crazy outfit, or is insane because they are working to hard IS ableist, as prevalent as the language is in our culture.

Another way ableist language comes up as lot is in doing activities. Rather than say “everyone please stand” you can say things like “if everyone who can stand will please do so.” Instead of “please walk around the room” you can say “please move around the room.” Blanket statements like “everyone has two hands” might be less of an issue in small groups where you can see if people have two hands, but if you don’t know your audience, don’t make assumptions about what limbs people do or do not have. Bethany Stevens, JD, is great at modeling access in her presentations introductions, and I’ve totally started doing it. Saying “can everyone who can see, see me ok?” and “can everyone who can hear, hear me ok?” is much more inclusive than “can everyone hear and see me ok?” I also make sure to let everyone know that I am open to requests for accommodations throughout the presentation and/or activities.

When you’re scheduling workshops, think about where they are at. If they are not physically accessible (either for wheelchair users, or anyone with a cane, crutches, or knee/hip/foot/ankle issues), you should probably put that on your flier/adverts. On that same note, if it IS accessible, put that on there — people love to know they are thought about and welcome. If it is somewhere in the middle, like there is a rear ramp somewhere, or you have burly folk willing to assist anyone who needs it, let people know that too. Even if you cannot find a perfectly accessible place (frequent in queer and kinky communities, or when working with non-profits who have to rely on donations of space), the fact that you are acknowledging accessibility is a huge step, and many PWD, myself included, can then make an informed decision about what attending will look like. Also, if you’re willing to provide an ASL interpreter, or describe the pictures/power point slides, make sure people know how to request those accommodations in advance, so that they don’t show up just crossing their fingers you have ASL savvy folks on staff.

People learn in different ways (Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences) and everyone processes at different speeds and in different ways. Regardless of who may or may not be in your audience, make sure to repeat your take home messages and important points more than once, and if possible, in more than one way. This will help EVERYONE “get” it better than if you just rattle off facts from your power point.

Know that some folks with disabilities comes with service dogs, or what I like to call service people. Sometimes, we need help getting in, getting settled, getting around, taking notes, making sure we understood what was said, having advocates, having people to carry our stuff, etc. Being respectful to us also means being respectful to our companions, whether of the furry or human variety. If someone mentions they’ll be attending with a service animal (or human), reserving a seat on the end of a row for the dog is generally appreciated. On the same note, if someone needs to see the ASL interpreter, or has vision issues and needs to be close to something to see it (and brings this up), making sure they get a spot close to the front shows consideration.

Having resources available in your area is awesome. Know who the sex positive doctors are; ones that aren’t going to flinch when someone says “how can I have sex safely, given that I have _____ or this condition?” Think about accessible spaces (accessible can mean lots of things; ADA, near public transit, affordable, etc) where people can get sex ed, and have their questions answered. Know who provides cognitive level appropriate sex education to folks with various developmental disabilities? Where can someone with disabilities (and/or their partner) find a local support group? Are their gynecologists near by who offer accessible exam tables to folks with mobility issues? This is just a start, but if you have answers to these questions, it’s a great place to get going.

These are just some very very very basic tips. I would love to hear other thoughts and suggestions on combating ableism in sex education (or education as a whole), as well as questions that other folks might have about providing inclusive settings. Let the discussion begin!

-Shanna

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This post, Making Presentations Less Ableist, originally appeared on Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator on October 31, 2011.

Shanna Katz M.Ed, ACS -- Board Certified Sexologist and Sexuality Educator » Educational

Have YOU gotten yourself tested?

Related Posts:

Hey! It’s sexual assault awareness month!

Related Posts:

Meet the Progressive Pleasure Club

Related Posts:

Trangender Job Fair in Denver

Related Posts:

Q and A: How to Get Back Out There

Related Posts:

Q and A: Spicing up a “Boring” Relationship

Related Posts:

Q and A: How Young Is Too Young For Sex?

Related Posts:

Q and A: Does Semen Whiten Your Teeth?

Related Posts:

Looking for an LGBTQ/Kink/Poly Friendly Provider?

Related Posts:

Making Presentations Less Ableist

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