May 252011

As many of you know, May happens to be National Masturbation Month! I thought I’d write another piece on Masturbation in honor of such an important month.

Now, I know that for many people, masturbation is a private thing. When we were younger, we were taught to “do it” privately, as quickly and as quietly as possible, so that our parents/siblings/partners/etc didn’t walk in on us. This is why many people have been trained to orgasm as quietly as possible (regardless as to whether they are a louder or quieter orgasm-er or pleasure receiver), and it’s why many penis owners haven’t been able to figure out how to separate orgasm from ejaculation, making it harder for them (pun intended) to have multiple orgasms. Society tells us to be ashamed of “having” to masturbate when partnered, and we use very shaming language around masturbation in general.

Good news folks — I’m here to tell you that it is not so! Not only is masturbation a fabulous and fun activity to do on your own (whether or not you have a partner or two or three), but it’s a great activity to do WITH your partner. What am I talking about?

*You can both (or all) lie in bed masturbating together! It’s 100% safer sex, you’re still experiencing sexual pleasure at the same time, and you both (or all) know that you’re getting the exact kind of stimulation that you want.

*You can show off to your partner the type of stimulation you like, so they get a better idea of the type of touch, vibration and or/stimulation that you like! Next time (or post pleasure), switch it up, so you get to learn more about them

*You can masturbate when your partner is sore, tired, sleepy, frustrated, studying, etc. They can touch you, either passively or actively, so you still have some sort of connection together, even if you can take the time or energy at that given moment to have interactive sexual activity between the two of you.

*If you’re in a long distance relationship, masturbating over the phone or via skype can absolutely help keep some of the loving and/or sexual feelings going, even if you can’t do the things you’d like to do to each other.

There are lots of other reasons and ways to masturbate and involve your partner(s) at the same time. Whether you’re ringing southern bells, crossing the mason-dixon line, clicking the five finger mouse, saying hi to Rosie Palm and her five friends, choking the bishop, or some other such things, masturbation can be fun solo, with a partner, or in a group, and should be celebrated for the exciting exploration and revelation of sexuality that it is!


  One Response to “Masturbation Isn’t Just Flying Solo”

  1. Great article! I’m very pro-masturbation – our culture is so focused on hiding our sexuality that lots of people don’t realize what a great tool it can be.

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