Nov 162010
 

Question:

Is it normal that I don’t have multiple orgasms? I’ve read about a million times that I should be able to have all these orgasms. But the truth is, if I have one, the likelihood that I’ll have another one in the next 24 hour period is pretty much zero, and chances are, I probably won’t have another one for several days, no matter what I do. It doesn’t matter if it’s sex, masturbation or whatever. Its like I have one, and then I’m done for at least a day, maybe several. Is this normal?

Answer:

The likelihood that there is anything physically wrong is very, very slim. Not everyone can have multiple orgasms. Period. Just like not everyone can ejaculate. Lots of people can, and many of those people haven’t figured out the mutliple orgasm thing, or ejaculation thing yet, but it’s also important to note that NOT EVERYONE can do these things. By telling people that everyone can, we set people up to be disappointed in themselves, and even be concerned. Vulvas and vaginas are so unique and different, and like different things, so they enjoy pleasure in different ways. Not having multiple orgasms doesn’t mean that ANYTHING is wrong with you.

It’s possible that you might be able to have different types of orgasms through different stimulation (clitoral vs vaginal vs anal vs g-spot vs breasts, etc), but even if not, as long as you are enjoy the orgasm that you ARE having, then you’re golden. Sex is about pleasure and enjoyment, and if you’re having fun and feeling pleasure, then that is what is right for you.

Of course, stronger kegel/PC muscles can increase orgasm intensity, and the possibility of multiple orgasms, but never a guarantee — if you’re interested in experimenting, grab a set of kegel balls to work out your pelvic floor muscles. Sometimes bringing in a switch hitter like your favorite vibe can help help. However, it is 100% normal NOT to have multiple orgasms, and as long as you’re enjoying your sex life in general, you’re good to go.

-Shanna

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  2 Responses to “Q and A: Is it Normal to NOT Have Multiple Orgasms?”

  1. Great question and great response! For a long time, I didn’t think I was capable of having orgasms from intercourse. (Then I met my current boyfriend! Yay!) But I find if I have one of those orgasms with him, my body doesn’t want another one any time soon.
    However, I can usually have three or four clitoral orgasms (which is about when I get bored and decide enough is enough) on my own.
    So everybody is different, like you said. I think the orgasms I have with my boyfriend are more fulfilling and they wear me out, so my body can’t do it again. Maybe that’s what’s going on with the person who asked this question, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all! :)

  2. My “refractory” period is shorter–several hours–but orgasm tends to leave me too sensitive/sore to have another one. The more intense the stimulation or the orgasm itself, the more recovery time I need (if I masturbate a lot, I’ll have to recover for a few days). There are a lot of kinds of “normal”!

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